Forgetting 22 days.

I hate this. You know why? Because I've started thinking about you again. And I shouldn't. You don't deserve my thoughts. Not one bit. But you're getting them. Mainly because it's May. This time last year I was SO happy. Not saying i'm not happy now, but I was happy for different reasons. Funny how things change in a year. You've taught me a lot though. How trust is something that you have to have. And how easily it can be lost, yet so hard to gain. Life goes on, and in 10 days, it'll be your birthday. How weird is that? Remember your last birthday party? I do. Do you remember anything? Because I can honestly say I remember all of it. A part of me hates it, because it makes me relive it. You weren't a mistake. And I don't regret it one bit. Even after everything i've gone through after you, i still don't regret it and I don't see you as a mistake. I know you probably see me as a mistake and regret me, because apparently you and your friends think i'm a crazy drunk, but that's okay. You can think all you want. You screwed me up girl. You really did. But i'm somewhat okay now. I'd like to think i'm a little stronger. You made me cherish trust, and I make everyone earn it now. I've been thinking about you almost everyday lately. Just thought you should know.

And you, I can tell you're happy with him. I really can. And you don't even know how happy that makes me. You know I have trouble trusting people. I still don't trust him, but I see how happy he makes you, and for now, that's good enough for me. You're a big girl now and you can take care of yourself. To tell you the truth, the way you checked up on me awhile ago really made my heart melt. I know you care about me, and I care about you too. So if things go wrong, you know i'll always be here. It sucks that we can't talk as much as we did, but if it means you're happy, i'll take it. Doesn't mean i'm out of your life.

Song of the day:

Again by Natasha Bedingfield and Bruno Mars (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfZmVg4F514)