An Incounter of the Ages

It's weird. I saw Rachel a few days ago, and man, was i going through a hurricane of emotions. Of course, i tried to play it off cool, you know, like nothings wrong. But in all reality, when her mom said Hi and Goodbye to me, it made my day. I mean, she's probably the single person in this world that probably wanted to literally kill me at one point. But she swallowed that pride and talked to me. Granted it was two words, but it was something. At first when i saw her, it wasn't a big deal. Whatever, we broke up 7 months ago. As the night went on, and then the next day came about, i realized that every single day of those 7 months, i've missed her. And then i sat there and thought about all of it. Dude, i was a shitty boyfriend. I'm not even going to sugar coat it. I was terrible. I think about all the situations that i would do differently now. I'm not dwelling on it, but i'm learning. I have learned. I'd like to think that with Mista i changed a lot of my old/bad habits. And they worked. Not for her, but for me too. They made me happier. But that's that. It doesn't make me miss her any less. I think i always will. Just like i miss Mic.

Yeah, we're friends, but i still miss us. I always will. You were my first love. The first girl that i not only felt something really strong with, but i had the balls to say something about it. It makes me happy reading all of your posts now. I can tell you are just on cloud nine. You got the boy. I was a shitty ass boyfriend to you too. I've thought about all the moments i would've done differently with you too. And when i look back at them, it makes me see how much you really did care about me. You were one of those girls that i was really proud of having. I loved showing you off to everyone. You know you're attractive. There's no doubt about that. But for a guy like me to get a girl like you was something incredible. Granted, you were a freshman and i was a senior so that probably had something to do with it. But it didn't matter. Not only are you good looking, but you have the heart of a million people. You care so much about, everything. You're passionate.

It seems like everyone is passionate about something. I can't find mine. I don't know what it is that i'm passionate for. Maybe that's a bad thing. I'm not sure. I guess i'll find it eventually. Until then, Optimus Prime it is.

TRANSFORMERS TONIGHT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I've been SO excited ALL day!!!!!!! But, the only thing that's going to suck about this is that it is a midnight showing, about a 2 hour movie, and i have to open tomorrow at 7. FUCK. Oh well. It'll be worth it!

Decision: Keeping my jeep cause it's just too sexy. Done. Transformation time? I think yes.

Song of the day:

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

Summer Days

The reason i'm in a shitty mood today is because, i miss the holy hell out of you. As much as i shouldn't, i do.

I couldn't admit it, because i don't want to. I don't want to miss you. I shouldn't miss you. I can't. But i do. And i don't know why. Please make this go away.

British Tea

You remember when i said i was so bored with this summer? THE FUCK HAS THIS WEEK GONE?! It seems like just yesterday i went to springfield! HOLY HELL!

I've been working A LOT. 22.5 hours in two days. Plus the 5 hours i did on wednesday for Mr. Farmer's tent. FUCK.

So on my way home today my jeep decided to blow a tire. JUST FUCKING GREAT.

I have to open tomorrow and sunday. YEAH. FUCK EVERYTHING.

I have a right to bitch, so get lost if you don't agree.

Equal marriage in NYC? FUCKING LEARN YOU REDNECK CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN FUCKS! You know what, if you don't like EQUALITY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COUNTRY.

Okay okay. I'm done. Just kidding.

I want to move to to England. They've got it all. AND, they've got it right. Fuck America. Yeah, i said it. FUCK THIS COUNTRY. I'm moving to England. DONE. They have the BEST BEST BEST musicians EVER. Jay Sean was an AMAZING singer that didn't need catchy beats and repetition to make it big. This damn country did that to him. Fucker was good when he stayed to his roots. Accents rock my damn socks. And lets face facts here people, they are just all around fucking GORGEOUS. Their education system takes SHITS on ours. So damn classy over there. Fuck the redneck hoosiers here. I will never come back to live here in jeffco. FUCK THAT.

I think i'm done. hm........yes i am.

Honestly, this post was not supposed to go this way. I just got on a roll. I really only wrote this post just so i could do the song of the day even though NONE OF YOU BASTARDS LISTEN TO THESE AWESOME FUCKING GENIUS'S!

Song of the day:

Lights by Ellie Goulding

P.S: YES I HAD FUCKING SEX. GEEZ. AND IT WAS AWESOME. GET AT ME SMALLS!

Mash It to Bash It.

Alright so here's the low down. I am now home from the Springfield.

GAHHHHH. It was SUCH a blast there! Honest to god, i didn't think i would have had that much fun in just one night of being there. BUT HOLY NUTS. It was amazing! Walking around campus was so, exciting! It just made me happy. Especially seeing everyone, that truly just topped everything off. I love love loved it.

There is one thing that happened on this trip. I guess it's a pretty big deal. But, i don't really want to say anything about it on here because i know a lot of people read this and it's kind of a personal thing. I mean, i don't really even know if i want to tell anyone, just because i feel like it's for me. I don't know. Definitely made the trip something i'll always remember, that is for sure.

So i'll find out if i get to keep my scholarship or not in a week to two weeks. Grrr. I hate waiting. So much. Bad news when i got home, i saw that the Acura TL i wanted had been sold. So depressing. The reason its sad is because those cars don't come around very often to be sold, especially at a decent price. So i got really excited for it, even though i probably won't even be able to get a new car. I guess it's mainly for my own purpose. I love searching for cars and reading reviews on them and watching videos on them and such. Keeps me busy.

Obsession: Fratmusic.com. The mashup's station is to DIE FOR. Truly. Amazing.

Well, i have to start work tomorrow, so i should probably go to sleep. Perhaps. Night world.

Song of the day:

E.T. Feels Starry Eyed by 3LAU (http://soundcloud.com/3lau/e-t-feels-starry-eyed-3lau)

Butterflies

This summer is looking up. Honestly, I knew that this was going to happen. The beginning of summer sucked because, well, it did. But i'm finally enjoying my life now. Not to say that i don't want to go back to MSU, but home is a bit more tolerable now.

I guess the main reason for this is the fact that i've been hanging out with Brett, Becca, Tommy, and the whole gang a bit. I mean, it feels like we're back in high school and we have no worries in the world. Brett and tommy just drove to my house one night randomly and called me when they got here and we just went to Desoto for the hell of it. The random stuff like that is what i missed the most.

Brett, Becca, Kristin and i all went to St. Charles last night to spend the night at Nico's and have a game night. Needless to say, it was an awesome night. Again, the whole no worries thing. Except the 5 a.m. tornado sirens. And now all i have to do is write my statements for my scholarship appeal and then go off to springfield monday morning!

Speaking of which, i haven't even started on my statements. I know what i'm going to say for each criteria. It's just a matter of figuring out how to say it. I've been thinking about it every day but i just can't figure it out. Well, I'm going to have to write it tomorrow.

My sister and i got into it today over that issue. She seems to think that i'm using my grandpa's death as an excuse for slacking off. She thinks that all i did was party all the time. Truth is, i was doing fine up until midterms. And then spring break came, i was still okay. The very last day, my grandpa died. But you know what, it isn't an excuse, and the fact that she accused me of it sickens me. I screwed up. I know i did. But it's not for the reasons that she thinks it is. This semester was hell for me emotionally. The first 2 months i was still drenched in Rachel. And then i get out of that and start to get back to reality. My grades were fine. After spring break, we have a death in the family, i realize i bit off more than i could chew when it came to being involved, and i changed my major. I think the last one had the biggest impact. I was fighting with myself and my parents all the time over it. After awhile it took its toll. Yes i partied, but not enough to let it affect my grades. The fact that my grades are low is completely on me. And that's why I'm figuring this out.

This all came up because she asked if i talked to dad about trading in my jeep. And i told her about the whole scholarship thing. Then she just blew up at me saying that i need to take responsibility for myself and that i get whatever i want and she has to work for everything. EXCUSE ME. What have i gotten exactly? This vehicle that i MIGHT get if i keep this scholarship will be funded via trading the jeep and the financial aid money that i will be getting because i TOOK the responsibility to become an RA which is my JOB!! GAH! That made me extremely mad. Her logic was for me to trade the jeep in so she can use that money to get herself a new car and i take her camry. Um, ma'am, you have a BIG GIRL job now. You still have a phone that our parents pay for, a car that is insured and paid for by our parents, a credit card that our parents pay for, and countless other things. Why don't you take some responsibility?! You make over 120,000 dollars for christ sake. BUY YOUR OWN DAMN CAR AND STOP BITCHING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE GETTING ONE. Grrrrrr.

Anywho, this should all be taken care of shortly. And by that i mean my dad basically telling me no you can't get another car because that's usually what always happens when i get really excited about anything. So there is a 95% chance that my parents are going to talk their way out of letting me trade in my car, at which point i WILL get new tires for my jeep, i WILL fix whatever is wrong and is making my check engine light come on at whatever cost, i WILL get my axles looked at and fixed, and the countless other things that still need to be done. Hence, me wanting to get rid of it now, since it is a rolling fire death trap. One hit from the back and it will most likely catch on fire. AWESOME. But with that 5% chance of me getting another vehicle, i have scoped out a 2004 Acura TL. Pearl white with all the goodies. I am in love with this car. End of story.

And in other news, springfield is going to be AWESOME on monday. I met this cool new girl too. It's kind of neat. She's kind of neat. She's in a sorority and everything. But she's not your typical sorority girl. She's not your typical person actually. She's quite the odd ball. But, she's a great friend to me right now. Something most girls never take the chance to be. Butterflies.

Btdubs, i remember ALL of that too. And you know what i'm talking about and who i'm talking about. I remember every single moment we ever had. From the first time we held hands to the first time we hung out at a band party to our first kiss. EVERYTHING. Sooner or later, there will be a whole blog post dedicated to you. I'm not going to keep writing on this one because it's already hella long. Don't you worry though, many things shall be said in a timely manner.

Song of the day:

Save the World by Swedish House Mafia

Note: I really hope all of you guys actually check out the songs of the day because they usually tie in with the post itself. Mainly because the song of the day is what motivated me to write the post for each particular day and usually what i listen to while i write it as well. And i try to get music that isn't your everyday stuff so i can help you all broaden your musical horizon! K that's all :)

Pause and Restart.

So here we go. The road begins.

I'm not exactly sure where life is going to take me now. I totally just blew it all up i guess. But, i can't wait to see what happens. I really can't.

Mista and i have taken the road of friendship, for now. Not to say the book is closed, but for now we both need to figure some things out. I'm kind of in the stage where i want to go out there and see what i get. I kind of miss the mystery of it all. We'll see what comes about from that.

I am going back to springfield on monday! I am SO SO SO excited! Even though i'll only be staying there for one night, seeing everyone is going to be such an amazing feeling. I'm gonna be staying with shelby so that should be an adventure all on its own. I can't wait to see everyone. Especially shelby. We have become such great friends. I can't believe she'll be graduating soon. I'm not sure what i'm going to do without her. And i'll get to see my brothers, and some of the other girls like Paige. It'll be a nice change.

I've been watching a lot of The O.C. lately, and something i noticed was that they all have flip phones. When did smart phones and touch screen phones become such a necessity? It was nice seeing them with flip phones, because they didn't text everything to one another. When two people in a relationship would leave one another they would say, "I'll call you later" and not "i'll text you." A part of me thinks that we need to all go back to those days. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my smart phone and i love to text. But it consumes my life. I feel like if i were to lose my phone i would lose my life. That shouldn't be the case.

I've been seriously thinking about trading in my jeep. Mainly because gas is just ridiculous. And i'm pouring a lot of money into it. A lot of little things just seem to always go wrong, and although they are little, they add up. I tested the waters with American made, but i think i'm always going to like imports better. I'm looking into maybe trading in the jeep for a used Audi. We shall see.

Song of the day:

Starlight by Muse

Let's Do The Time Warp

Getting together with the group last night was, just, amazing. I can't even describe how nice it felt to see them all and do what we always did, just hang out. THIS is why i come home. It definitely reminded me that.

Words cannot begin to explain how much i needed last night. I was on edge, ready to break. But last night was just, refreshing. It brought back old times when we were all always together and nothing could separate us.

I've been doing pretty good lately. I haven't been so attached to my phone. Well, it's always with me, but i'm not constantly texting someone or anything. It feels glorious. I've been able to get my head screwed on straight and get some thoughts figured out.

Seeing you brought it all back. I missed you so, SO much. I hate the fact that i can't see you all the time. I told you that we have to make these summers and christmas breaks count, because that's all we're gonna have. I didn't know how much i missed you until i saw you and hugged you and talked to you and everything. And it's bringing everything back to me. But i'm not complaining. Not one bit.

Ha, i almost teared up there during this post.

Song of the day:

Into Dust by Ashstar Command <--- look this song up and you will NOT be disappointed! It's like 9 minutes long. The first couple of minutes is straight instrumental. PURE BLISS.

Look At Me Meow.

Here we are again folks, and might I say, what a fancy seeing you here.

Truth be told, i haven't been doing much of anything since i've been home. I wake up, eat, watch some t.v., take a shower, eat again, watch more t.v./movies, and then go to sleep. There has also been a lot of YouTubing going on.

But in this time, i've been able to get a good bit of thinking done. I mean, it hasn't really been progressive towards anything, just thinking in general. Lately i've been thinking about two things, grudges and dreams. Let's address the first of the two.

GRUDGES! AH! RAWR! I don't get them. I honestly don't. Yeah, things happen. Shit goes sour. In the end, you can still not let something go but still be able to tolerate the issue/person. Prime example, Matt is a complete douche queef. No problem in saying that. Have i let go of the things that have happened? Absolutely not. Am i willing to look past them and tolerate it for the sake of being civil and happy? Of course. What's the point in being all pissy towards each other if all it does is stir and create drama?! It's not logical. It puts you in a miserable spot, and the ones around you in a miserable spot because they have to deal with it too. Micaela and i went through a lot. Good and bad. I'm kind of surprised that she didn't hold a grudge against me. But through everything that did happen, look at us now. We're friends, we talk, I'd go as far as saying we're good friends. She wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my best friend. Things like that don't just disappear. Just like my friendship with Matt isn't going to just disappear. Maybe it's because i think things through logically, or because i'm an idiot. Who knows. The way i see it, holding a grudge with someone only hurts you, and the ones that you care about. So get the fuck over it. Suck it up, stop making excuses for everything, and deal with the issues that you obviously have. If you're holding a grudge than you obviously have something you need to work through. So stop running from them or just trying to cover them up by erasing the situation from your life. Cause in end, you'll turn out worse than you ever imagined.

DREAMS! AH! FUCKIN' Dicaprio! In all seriousness, dreams are truly magic. Yet another example! WOO! So ever since i can remember, every time i had a dream they would always be very detailed. Most of the time, my mind could control not only my actions, but the world i'm in as well-- to an extent that is. My dreams were the playground for my imagination and heart. The creepy thing, is that anytime i get hurt, like shot, stabbed, bitten, etc., I can actually feel it in real life, at the exact location that it happened in the dream. Freaky shit. But sometimes i'll get the same dreams, over and over again. Not the exact same. But the same general feel with different locations and people, but usually keeping one person constant. Lately, i've been having this kind of dream. The person that stayed the same was a girl. I could see her perfectly, and i didn't know who she was in real life, but i knew her in the dream- pretty well actually. I could never figure out who this girl was, and i could never completely remember why she was in my dreams. Like i didn't know what her role was. Well, the other day, i hopped on the good ol' Facebook and on the side where they show you people that you may know, was just a girl so i clicked on her wondering if i knew her. I looked at her pictures (yes i creeped) and she was the exact girl from my dream. It was her. Creepy part: I have never met nor have i ever even seen this girl before. I still can't figure out how it all happened. The world works in mysterious ways.

Welp, that's all folks. Keep in touch. Don't be a stranger. Let the words flow through you like the blood your heart pumps. Every new day is a day that you can make yourself just a little bit better. Not for her, or for him, or anyone. Just for you. Leave the world better then you found it. My challenge to you all.

Song of the day:

A Moment of Peace by Jarrod Gorbel

Little Monsters

It's dawned on me, that some of my closest friends that I had here, aren't that close to me anymore. It's weird, how you can go so long of being best friends, and then all of a sudden you look at yourself, the friendship, and realize there's not a lot left of it. Maybe it's just me realizing it now, but it just kills you inside. We grow up, and some don't.

I was always there for you man. For five years. Even through all of your attempts to sabotage my relationships, I still stuck by you. When I thought you were making a terrible decision for college, I talked to you about it. And you seemed to listen, since you are here, even if it is for the reason I advised you not to let you influence. But the time I needed you most, when I needed everyone the most, you just like the rest turned your back. Yeah, I've said some things to you and about you that I'm not proud of, nor am I happy about. But I would've never told you that you were better off dead. Never.

You have been the loyalist of them all. And bro, you have been the best friend and roommate I could've ever asked for. I told you this before, and I'll tell you again. I'm so envious of your life. I always have been. So many people look up to you, you're so damn amazing and passionate about music. I wish I could be as passionate about something, or even half as passionate. I'm envious that you found the love of your life already. You two make a great match. But everyday when we lived together, I couldn't help but think you were judging me each and every day of it. Between the whole Rachel thing, the fraternity, not knowing what to do with my life, to the endless nights I would just sulk in self pity. You were a brother to me before I got 60 of them, and again like I said before, I would do anything for you and for the love of your life. She means a lot to you, so I'm always going to look after her too. But sometimes I wonder if you've ever seen me the same way.

Dude, I know I can't talk to you all the time. And we really haven't communicated throughout the year. We live two completely different lives. And when I come home, I see that the most. I get it, you don't want to hang out with me or anything. It's cool. It's just one of those things that I'm going to have to get used to. Because I was always envious of you too. You guys know exactly what you want to do and you have the skills and ability to do so. I try, I try my little heart out to try to get through to you. You've been my second family. And it seems so distant, more now than ever.

Things have changed. Something we all have to deal with. WE have changed. Each and every one of us. Whether it is by the way we look, act, feel, or even think. Some haven't changed at all. The one's I feel sorry for the most are the ones that are left untouched. The ones that have yet to grow up, deal with the facts of life, and haven't let the natural course of change run through them.

One thing I absolutely hate, is that so many people here judge me for being the way I am and doing the things I do. I mean, I thought about this for awhile. I joined a FRATERNITY of men and I get talked about, accused of random things, and made out to be some type of partying animal. While this is all nice and dandy, it doesn't portray me in the right light by any means. But the thing is, all I did was join something. How do people expect others to admit that they are homosexual, bisexual, atheist, agnostic, or anything in the lines of that? If I got judged for just joining an organization, these people are going to get judged to the tenth degree. Grow up people. Let go of whatever you need to let go of, work through any issues that have been left unresolved. Let past relationships go and move on with your life. Let life run its course! You can't keep living in the past, or doing things merely to please someone. You gotta start doing things for you, and look forward.

I've done a lot of things in my past. Things I am both proud and not so proud of; regardless it is my past. It has shaped me to become who I am, as cliche as it sounds. In the last 2 years of my life I loved someone for the first time, fell in love again with someone else and learned a lesson on relationships, went to college, started a life, and figured out who I am. I'm sorry I didn't choose the same path as my friends. I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm sorry I quit music. What everyone needs to realize, is that these were all decisions I needed to make. This is my own path. No one else's. I'm trying my hardest to keep things the same, but everything is changing around us too fast.

Judge me for all it's worth. And judge those that are homosexual, atheist, and whatever. But guess what, they are all the happiest people that will walk this god forsaken earth, because they know who they are, and they're not going to let a bunch of people judging them for following their heart bring them down.

This is my life, I can't always control who comes in and out of it. I'm trying my hardest, and that's all I can do. If that's not good enough for you, then maybe not having me in your life is probably best. I am who I am, and no, I'm not fuckin' changing for anyone. :)

Song of the day:

Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga

A Summer Carol

I'm going to go ahead and tell you now that this is probably going to be a fairly long post. Not novel long, but longer than the rest. There's just a lot to cover, and a lot that i need to get out. So, let's get to it!

I've been thinking a lot lately. About various things, as per usual. Here's the first thing.

The Past:
First thing's first. I went to the high school over a week ago. It's been a full year since i graduated, a long with the rest of the class of 2010. It makes me sick seeing what everything we did has come to. Absolutely sick. I'm not saying i alone raised everything. No, i didn't. We, as a class, accomplished everything. The only thing the class below us had to do was at very least keep that up. And guess what? It's all gone. Nobody even remembers what we did. I can't believe it. And then, you have Middleton talking about how great HIS band is going to be now that someone is out of the picture and how much of a failure the rest of the years were. TO MY FACE. Dude, i'm sorry i was a part of the BEST SENIOR CLASS to go through that school. I'm sorry we led that program to everything. I'm sorry that Becca and I worked our ass off more than any other drum majors did and have after us to make it what we did. Yes, it wasn't all us. That band was pure magic. And to tell me to my face that we were a failure? No sir, no. You know what, go off and jack up the band fee and do your full day band camp. Have fun turning into the next Fox marching band program with all drill and props, but no music. I'm so glad the "Seckman Jaguar Pride" isn't coming to Ozarko. I think one year of humiliation was good enough. It also pains me to hear about the Renaissance program. That club, I did raise. I put in so much time into that club my four years. And in ONE SINGLE YEAR they managed to screw it all up. Way to go, scholar, way to go.
And it's funny thinking about my relationships throughout then as well. Let's face it, everyone i was ever with found someone better. Someone that they're actually happy with. The two that meant the most to me especially. Micaela found Mike, and she seems like she's on cloud nine. She's got the boy she always wanted, and the one i never was. Rachel has managed to make it to where i don't even exist, nor did i ever. I guess i'd rather emotionally deal with Micaela's situation cause at least she still talks to me and remembers. It still hurts every single time i think about Rachel totally erasing me. Cause it seems like it was never truly real to her. But it's done and over with. So there isn't much to do now. I think i'm just meant to be that guy, the one that makes you realize that there is something so much better out there for you.

The Present:
What is there to say. I'm on the verge of losing my full tuition scholarship, the one that inspired me to get so involved in college and also has taught me so much about diversity (not that i didn't already know about it. Ha, jokes.). But, i get to keep my RA job. So, we'll just have to see where everything pans out. I've finally totally decided to go pre-law and i think i'm going to major in political science with a minor in either communications or philosophy. Living at home has completely and totally sucked. I can say with full confidence that i will try as had as i can NOT to come back next summer and stay down in springfield. I can't do this again.
Honestly, it's funny looking at my "relationships" now too. I truly don't know what to do. Mista is right there. She's all mine. Weird part is, i'm not taking her. Not right now at least. I just can't. How can i? After everything that has happened, and seeing where it led, how could i do it all over again? The things that have happened between us doesn't exactly make me confident about going after her either. Not one bit. And i'm honestly trying my hardest to let it all go. To start fresh. But i can't. As hard as i've tried, it's getting me no where. You hurt me so bad. Before we were even together. And it wasn't once, or twice, or even three times. It was over, and over, and over again. It just kept happening. You can go ask anyone you want, but i got absolutely crushed so many times. And now i'm baffled to how i stuck with it. I truly am. But i made it here. Through it all. And finally got you. But now i can't take you. I guess because you have no idea what i went through. NO IDEA. Before you came along, while we were talking, and now. I have no sympathy for you or what you went through with your ex. I've been through hell and back, gone out with the craziest with even crazier mom's. And i don't think you ever fully appreciated anything i did for you. Because let's face it, i did EVERYTHING for you. I would drop anything and everything for you. And that was my mistake. Because i did that, and you never ever did the same for me, until later. I told you before, i like you. And i do. I'm STILL here. But, after it's all said and done, maybe it's too little too late. I worked my ass off for you. And when it boils down to it, it's shocking, but you would give up quicker than i ever would. I mean, come on, you wouldn't have put up with and gone through everything i did just to get here if you were in my shoes. You would've left after the first week. And this weekend, you get busy and just stop talking. Yeah, princess i get busy too. Like, oh i don't know, this whole past semester? I can easily say i had more going on than you did. And i still found time every day to talk to you. That little stuff is what matters most. Not how much you miss me, or how many times in one day you tell me you like me, or how many times you ask if you can come see me. No, it doesn't take any of that. There's a lot that needs to be processed now. The game totally changed this weekend.

The Future:
It's gonna be here before we know it. Now that i've decided to go pre-law, i've been looking at law schools. As far as missouri goes, it's either UMKC or SLU. Not gonna lie, i hate SLU. But i really really really want to go somewhere on the east coast. Not sure where, but somewhere. My dream would be to go to Yale. Never gonna happen, i know. But it's a dream.
It's scary to think about. If everything miraculously goes according to my plan, i'll be engaged in three to four years. That means in the next three to four years i'll be meeting the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. How insane is that?! You know what though? I absolutely cannot wait for that day to come.

Weird how the future part is the shortest one. I guess it's because right now, i'm not really sure what the future holds for me. But, that will all unfold in due time.

Song of the day:

Awake and Alive (The quickening version) by Skillet