Butterflies

This summer is looking up. Honestly, I knew that this was going to happen. The beginning of summer sucked because, well, it did. But i'm finally enjoying my life now. Not to say that i don't want to go back to MSU, but home is a bit more tolerable now.

I guess the main reason for this is the fact that i've been hanging out with Brett, Becca, Tommy, and the whole gang a bit. I mean, it feels like we're back in high school and we have no worries in the world. Brett and tommy just drove to my house one night randomly and called me when they got here and we just went to Desoto for the hell of it. The random stuff like that is what i missed the most.

Brett, Becca, Kristin and i all went to St. Charles last night to spend the night at Nico's and have a game night. Needless to say, it was an awesome night. Again, the whole no worries thing. Except the 5 a.m. tornado sirens. And now all i have to do is write my statements for my scholarship appeal and then go off to springfield monday morning!

Speaking of which, i haven't even started on my statements. I know what i'm going to say for each criteria. It's just a matter of figuring out how to say it. I've been thinking about it every day but i just can't figure it out. Well, I'm going to have to write it tomorrow.

My sister and i got into it today over that issue. She seems to think that i'm using my grandpa's death as an excuse for slacking off. She thinks that all i did was party all the time. Truth is, i was doing fine up until midterms. And then spring break came, i was still okay. The very last day, my grandpa died. But you know what, it isn't an excuse, and the fact that she accused me of it sickens me. I screwed up. I know i did. But it's not for the reasons that she thinks it is. This semester was hell for me emotionally. The first 2 months i was still drenched in Rachel. And then i get out of that and start to get back to reality. My grades were fine. After spring break, we have a death in the family, i realize i bit off more than i could chew when it came to being involved, and i changed my major. I think the last one had the biggest impact. I was fighting with myself and my parents all the time over it. After awhile it took its toll. Yes i partied, but not enough to let it affect my grades. The fact that my grades are low is completely on me. And that's why I'm figuring this out.

This all came up because she asked if i talked to dad about trading in my jeep. And i told her about the whole scholarship thing. Then she just blew up at me saying that i need to take responsibility for myself and that i get whatever i want and she has to work for everything. EXCUSE ME. What have i gotten exactly? This vehicle that i MIGHT get if i keep this scholarship will be funded via trading the jeep and the financial aid money that i will be getting because i TOOK the responsibility to become an RA which is my JOB!! GAH! That made me extremely mad. Her logic was for me to trade the jeep in so she can use that money to get herself a new car and i take her camry. Um, ma'am, you have a BIG GIRL job now. You still have a phone that our parents pay for, a car that is insured and paid for by our parents, a credit card that our parents pay for, and countless other things. Why don't you take some responsibility?! You make over 120,000 dollars for christ sake. BUY YOUR OWN DAMN CAR AND STOP BITCHING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE GETTING ONE. Grrrrrr.

Anywho, this should all be taken care of shortly. And by that i mean my dad basically telling me no you can't get another car because that's usually what always happens when i get really excited about anything. So there is a 95% chance that my parents are going to talk their way out of letting me trade in my car, at which point i WILL get new tires for my jeep, i WILL fix whatever is wrong and is making my check engine light come on at whatever cost, i WILL get my axles looked at and fixed, and the countless other things that still need to be done. Hence, me wanting to get rid of it now, since it is a rolling fire death trap. One hit from the back and it will most likely catch on fire. AWESOME. But with that 5% chance of me getting another vehicle, i have scoped out a 2004 Acura TL. Pearl white with all the goodies. I am in love with this car. End of story.

And in other news, springfield is going to be AWESOME on monday. I met this cool new girl too. It's kind of neat. She's kind of neat. She's in a sorority and everything. But she's not your typical sorority girl. She's not your typical person actually. She's quite the odd ball. But, she's a great friend to me right now. Something most girls never take the chance to be. Butterflies.

Btdubs, i remember ALL of that too. And you know what i'm talking about and who i'm talking about. I remember every single moment we ever had. From the first time we held hands to the first time we hung out at a band party to our first kiss. EVERYTHING. Sooner or later, there will be a whole blog post dedicated to you. I'm not going to keep writing on this one because it's already hella long. Don't you worry though, many things shall be said in a timely manner.

Song of the day:

Save the World by Swedish House Mafia

Note: I really hope all of you guys actually check out the songs of the day because they usually tie in with the post itself. Mainly because the song of the day is what motivated me to write the post for each particular day and usually what i listen to while i write it as well. And i try to get music that isn't your everyday stuff so i can help you all broaden your musical horizon! K that's all :)