We Will Fade.

Today is the most family interaction i've had in a long time. It consisted of talking to my sister on facebook so she could tell me that she is stuck in Dubai until today (USA time) and won't get back to the states until the 31st now. So then i had to call my parents and let them know what was going on. My mom gets so excited when i call. It's quite interesting. Then came the final phone call to my aunt in Alabama to let her know about my sister's situation because she's the on that will be getting her at the airport. Granted none of the conversations lasted long, it was still something.

I'm thinking about driving down to Alabama after new years for a few days so i can see my sister and spend some time down there. We'll have to see how everything works out though. Cause it's a long drive. :/

I bought five movies the other day from Blockbuster. Five movies for 20 bucks! Can't beat that. I've already watched four of them, so that leaves me with the Road that i haven't seen. Well, i've seen it, just not since i've bought it.

I decided to have people over for new years eve. That should be interesting. Most of the people have been at my house before but some of them haven't. Plus i'm not exactly sure how to do any of that party hosting nonsense. Oh well, i'm a boy, i can use that as an excuse.

I'm gonna go spend the night with my brother Matt today! I seriously can't wait for it. I miss him along with all of my brothers and MSU friends. I miss MSU in general. So much. It's funny because everyone misses it, even the seniors that have been there for four years. Home loses its charm after awhile.

Each day passes by and each day i find myself thinking about all the possibilities. Thinking about the what if's and the what could be's. I still can't find anyone quite like her. I wonder if she'll have the decency to wish me a happy birthday in a month and a half. Doubt it. Highly doubt it.

I feel like i need to get out of here. Like there's nothing left for me here. I want to go to England SO bad. Just to get away from here. Maybe once i leave for a long period of time with no contact what so ever i'll be able to find myself and people will figure out whether they really need me in their lives or not. I've always wanted to get away and not talk to anyone the whole time and not visit at all. And then make my grand return, to see all the changes and see who's still around. I think next spring i'm going to either try to go to England or do an internship at Disney World. I need to figure out who i am. Because as many changes as i've been through, i still haven't found my "soul". And i feel so empty.

Lesson of the day: beagles love blueberries.