Urg.

So, Rachel and Mike are officially dating. That alone has pretty much killed me. Before she had just stomped on my heart, now she stabbed it.

To add to it all, she deleted all of the pictures of her and i on her facebook. What the hell? Like honestly, none of this makes sense. NONE. And the thing that sucks the most about it all is that i can't get over her. STILL. I tried so hard, and i finally thought i was going to do it, but then i just start randomly thinking about her. With the whole facebook thing, she pretty much set fire to my heart.

Natalie took down all the pictures of her in my dorm. And as thankful as i am for that, but i'm not as insane as rachel is. I want her pictures around me. I can't stand this right now. I'm starting counseling soon. Mainly because my sister is making me.

I wonder if she reads these still. Something tells me she doesn't. I really really really wish she did. So she could see the SHIT i'm going through. God, if there is a god, what the HELL. I don't care if this is what is supposed to happen, there are other ways of making this happen. Less painful ways. I wanted to get close to you but lets face it, this has driven me further and further away. No god would make his child go through this pain that i'm going through.

"Grenade" by Bruno Mars. Listen to it. Explains EXACTLY how i feel and how my life is right now. Thank you Rachel Clark, for fucking my life up.