Proud of the Man in the Mirror.

I did so much for you. I did everything for you. After that, i didn't know how i was going to keep going without you. Without having anyone to work for. I couldn't imagine myself doing anything if it wasn't for you. I tried convincing myself that what i was doing was still for you. I lied. I lied to myself. Each and every day. I just went through my RA interviews and UA interviews. And guess what, when i was asked a question, the answers came from me. My heart. I did it because i wanted to. The last time i felt this so proud of myself was when i was one of the original 10 in Renaissance. The funny thing is, i haven't even been accepted into RA or UA. But i'm still PROUD of myself. Even if no one else is. Even my own sister is always yelling at me for one thing or another. I mean i guess i don't really expect anything else. I get good job's, good luck's, and well done's. But never, "I'm proud of you". Two people. Lately anyway. One is my big brother. Yup, from Pi Kapp. He told me he was proud of me when i got on exec and when i got Emerging Leaders. I'm sure he'll say it again if i get anything else. And the other was you. You know who you are. The person i never thought i'd be talking to right now. The person that i can now talk to whenever i want to and about anything i want to.

I'm proud of myself. For realizing who you really were. Who you really are. And you know what? Karma is a bitch. Things will come back to you. One way or another. Right now, or later. I hope it does. But i hope you don't have to feel what i felt. No one deserves to feel like that. I'm proud of myself for doing what i've done, for being able to get up every morning. For not letting anyone get in my way. For not letting anyone get under my skin. A kid i thought was like a brother to me told me i was better off dead. I hope karma gets you too. Because i'm here, doing great things. One day you, along with the rest of them, will see exactly what i'm capable of doing. And you, the one that tries to act all innocent to me. Don't worry, you're not fooling a soul. Your time will come too, dear.

I'm proud of who i am. Am i perfect? Not even close. Is it still a work in progress? Absolutely. But from where i was and where i've come, i couldn't ask for anything more. After this week, i see what i can do. I'm ready. I'm ready to be all i can be. And i've found people that are willing to accept that. That are willing to be with me through the good, the success, the glory, and the bad, the disappointment, and the anger. They aren't like you. They won't leave me with nothing when times get rough. They are TRUE. Call it bashing. Call it being a jerk or a douche. At least i can look myself in the mirror and be proud of what i see. At least i don't have to hide things about myself. I'm proud of myself, and the people in my life. I'm proud to have them there. I'm not embarrassed by them or feel better than them.

This message will in one way or another get to you. So listen up. When you accomplish everything that I have, with no support from your family, and everyone against you. When you beat the odds time and time again, call it luck. When you battle out that monster inside of you each day just to see the light. When you can walk around a UNIVERSITY and know 1 out of every 10 people that pass you. Then, you can tell me I'm better off dead.

Song of the day:

Hometown Glory by Adele