ALIVE.

What a word! I mean, i truly feel alive right now! It's a great great great feeling. I can't believe how well everything has been going lately. It's been an absolute blast. You have no idea.

Summer meeting was everything i wanted/needed and SO MUCH MORE. It blew my mind. I couldn't believe how much i missed my brothers and all of my friends down there. And for us to all be back just felt, right.

I met someone this weekend too. And she's kind of great. Never thought i would be where i'm at if you would've told me saturday morning. Funny how things change within hours. I met her, and we hit it off like no other. And guess what? We're going out on a date on friday :)

Yes, i'm alive. Finally.

Song of the day:

The Adventure by Angels & Airwaves

Late Night Talks

Talked to you for over two hours last night. Holy hell. Talk about memory lane. I miss the hell out of you. I really do. I love when we have our talks though. It's like nothing ever really happened, like we're still those kids making those same mistakes, but it's okay because we're happy. I don't know, it's weird. But a good weird i guess. It's funny how i still remember everything. And i mean EVERYTHING. Go figure. Everything happens for a reason. Good things happen to those who wait. There's always a reason. Those three lines basically sum up our whole lives.

Song of the day:

Miss Nothing by The Pretty Reckless

It Ain't Easy

Lately i've been thinking a lot about the future. How i want to grow up and such. It's weird, cause Alicia posted something extremely similar to this. But while my sister was in town we got to hang out for a bit. We started talking about how growing up may seem scary, but it's so awesome. I told her how i absolutely love college, every minute of it, but i have this urge to just graduate from college, from law school, and have a career. A career where i can make money and do whatever i want with it. Buy a car if i want to, a house, whatever i want and need. And then i can get married and experience all of that.

Then i saw Mic's post about names for kids. And so i started thinking about kids. I want a girl. Definitely. And name her Ava. Just because i really like that name. It's weird, thinking about all of this. I thought about it, and i'll be 20 in six months. I'm already going to be 20. It's just so weird saying that. I've been so used to being in the teens and everyone else being in their 20's that now it just seems as though it's something that's not me. It's weird. Very weird.

In other news, project jeep is complete for the summer. Upgrades include: bigger A/T tires, new brakes, new windshield, new bulbs for the fogs, bed liner on the bumpers and siding, and newly installed today is my new pioneer head unit! Now when i get time over the semester i want to get a lift, side step bars, and various other things.

Going down to springfield on friday or saturday! I haven't decided which day yet, but i'm SOOOOO pumped!It's going to be epic!

Speaking of springfield, i called the scholarship appeals committee yesterday to see what the fuck is going on. Here's the deal, my appeal has been approved by the committee and will be renewed, however they are waiting to hear back from my actual scholarship service (the department that gave me the scholarship) to see if i completed my service requirements, which i have. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was hella excited.

Song of the day:

Change of Seasons by Sweet Thing

Another Pebble In a Vast Sea

I can't wait to go see harry potter tomorrow! It's going to be EPIC. And then i can't wait for it to come out on DVD so i can go out and buy all 8 movies! So pumped!

Another thing i'm excited for is project jeep! I've finally started it! The cracked windshield kind of put it on delay for a week. But it is now on full throttle, kinda. I'm painting my bumpers and lower door panels tomorrow with bed liner. I washed it all today and prepped it so tomorrow i just have to take off some stuff and go at it! And then i'm going to be ordering a new head unit for the inside! WOOOOOO. I don't think i'm going to do the step bars during this break. I might order them later on during the semester.

My Sanuk's came in!!!!!! Holy jesus, they are SO comfy! I wore them around last night and basically all day today. I love them! And i've gotten so many compliments on them already! Definitely going to get some different styled pairs in the near future!

I've been talking to Kelsey on and off lately. It's actually really nice. She doesn't have the personality i usually go for, so it's a nice change. Honestly, i like just talking to her without any obligations. Especially right now during the summer.

Sometimes i wish i could go back and change so many things. Because i would in a heart beat. I've done so much wrong with so many people.

Song of the day:

Obliviate by Alexandre Desplat

Timing Fate

I just saw Natalie's post about timing, and although her reference to it is completely different that this, it made me think. Just the concept of timing throughout life. It's something magical. Something like fate or destiny. Now that you look back on your life, you see how the timing fits in perfectly with the rest of your life.

Fate and destiny are just two very, very weird things. It's hard to believe in them, yet at the same time hard not to. Looking back on my life up till this moment, it seems only fair to say that the timing of it all was fate. It all happened when it did for a reason. Timing.

Timing is everything. It could mean the difference between life and death, friendship and love, crying or laughter. I'm at a point in my life where it's time for new things. The "timing" is perfect for it. This summer i've gone through so many life experiences. And it couldn't have happened at a better time. Fate. I had sex for the first time this summer. I got to know people that i never imagined getting to know. I got to be a part of some great things. And i even smoked my first cigar (rather, the mini ones.)

The reason i began to think about all of this is because i started talking to someone. And if i hadn't taken the leap and initiated the very first conversation, i wouldn't have gotten to know her. Rachel and i broke up, and then i finally got the college experience. Timing. I got to experience so many opportunities that i know i would have never taken if that one bad event hadn't taken place. Mista happened at the best time as well. The time i needed someone the most, and it made me think about a lot of stuff; especially me. I realized that i'm ready for it. I'm ready to be out there again. Fate and timing. They work in mysterious ways. And now this new person. Right as i begin to feel lonely, and as going back to MSU approaches. Come on, you can't say that's not pure timing right there.

Netflix is my life right now. Nuff said.

Song of the day:

The Fight Will Be Your Own by Steve Jablonsky

One For Our Dreams

The tent is done and over with. I put in so many hours this year. I only had one day off. But i loved every minute of it. Going through it this year i realized that i am truly a leader. I always have been. I always will be. It's what i do. Maybe that's my passion. There were times when Dale left the whole tent and over 15 workers to myself to run. There were times on the fourth, the busiest day, where i had to run the whole thing for hours. Needless to say, it is EXHAUSTING! I don't know how he does it everyday for so many years. I'll let you guys know how many hours i worked total once i get my check.

Now that work is over, i'm just kind of sitting around again. Don't really have anything to do. My sister comes home in a week, and then i'll be going to alabama the week after that to get some stuff with my dad, and then the weekend after that i'll be going down to springfield for summer meeting, and then two weeks after that i'll finally be going down for good! So basically i have roughly a month at my disposal to do whatever. Most of it will be dedicated to get stuff done.

I've just been lonely lately. I'm not sure why. I guess cause so many couples worked at the fireworks tent and i was always surrounded by them. I'm ready for a relationship now. I know i am. It's just the whole waiting part now. Before when i wasn't ready i would have girls everywhere. But now that i am ready there's no one. Funny how that works out.

With the money i'll get from work, i plan on going through a transformation with my jeep. Basically just getting a bunch of stuff that i've always wanted for it. We'll see how far i can actually get this summer. Whatever i don't get done this summer will be postponed for during the year this fall when i come home.

It's time for a big get together of my high school friends. We haven't all gotten together in awhile. I don't see it happening anytime soon though.

Song of the day:

Lighters by Bad Meets Evil featuring Bruno Mars

Be It All

Lately i've been doing nothing but work. And i LOVE it. I love my job. It's every boys dream. Plus i get to be around some of the best people ever. It's definitely a change of pace.

And to top it off, my MSU friends have been coming by to see me! It's AMAZING to see them. I'm pretty good with life right now, not gonna lie.

I've literally been doing nothing but work. So after this week is i don't know what i'm going to do with myself. It's going to be really weird not to be working everyday all day.

I love to flirt. Like for real, it's the one thing i'm awesome at. And almost everyone that reads this blog knows that i am a sweet talker. It's what i do. But hey, it gets me what i want so why stop? :D

I guess this whole being single business has its upsides. But overall, i like having someone. It's just so much nicer. And let's face it, we all know i love attention. I need it. So it works for me.

I have "met" this really really really cute girl though. I don't really know her that well, so i don't know how she is. She's just very attractive, physically and personality wise. She's one of those girls that you can just look at her and know that she's a sweetheart. This is saying a lot since she's a blonde. I usually don't go for blondes, like at all. The really freaky/ironic part, her name is Rachel. HA! That could get weird.

Song of the day:

Guns and Horses by Ellie Goulding