Made IT.

Alright, let me start out by saying i know i broke my promise. To be honest, there just hasn't been much going on lately to write about. Being home is just, boring. I don't know how some of these people do it. I don't know how they stay here for college. I don't know how they come home as much as they do. I just don't get it. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm pretty sure i would end up killing myself if i had to stay here for college or go even close to here. There's just NOTHING here at home. Absolutely nothing.

That's one of the biggest things i've come to realize this break. I have nothing here for me anymore. I honestly don't know why i come home other than to see my parents and just be in this house. And to be completely honest, i only need a day or two for that. There's nothing here for me. Never will be. There's no one left here for me either. I just don't belong here.

I guess i always kind of knew that. I just didn't want to admit it. But with everything that has been happening in my life lately, i just grew up. I grew up a lot. And with growing up, i let go. I let go of so much this semester. It's been an ongoing thing, but i think this semester i finally actually let go. I let go of my "hometown", of my high school, of my high school friends, of everything i was back then.

I'm no where near the person i was back then. I find myself seeing people from high school or talking to them via text/phone call, and i have nothing to say to them. My life is just so different and the person i am now is different. No one that knew me then really knows me now.

In a way, i really like that. I found myself. I found my purpose, and my passion. I found the person i was meant to be. I found what i am capable of, and what i'm not. In its simplest form, I GREW UP. It's scary. It really is. But i kind of really like that too.

 I guess what i'm trying to say is, my goal for college is actually coming together a lot sooner than i thought. I can look into the mirror and be proud of the person i am. To sum it all up, I made something of myself. A person that people want to be, and a person that's known. A person that i'm so incredibly proud to be.

Song of the day:

Fear by OneRepublic

Well Damn

I'm sitting here in the library. I have been for about two hours now. And the only thing i've accomplished is finding two sources for my ten page paper due in less than a week. And on top of that, i have a geology test that i have in less than a week as well. Actually, the test and paper are due on the same day. I hate everything. And the thing is, youtube distracts the HELL out of me. I watch one video, which just makes me want to watch another one, and so on and so forth. It kind of sucks. A lot. So i guess i was officially dating a girl. For a week and a half. It obviously ended. She was crazy. But not THAT crazy. Any who, it was a nice change of pace from the usual. I am officially the recruitment chair for pi kapp. Which is pretty neat. I will be quitting my job as an RA to pursue recruitment. One door closes, another opens. Go me. I will also be CONSIDERING to go out and represent Pi Kapp for Greek God during Greek Week this upcoming semester. We shall see how my mind sets on that one. Any who, other than that everythings been hell. It is definitely a week from hell and i'm just taking it a minute at a time. GAH. Song of the day: If I Ain't Got You by Jay Sean

Looks

So today i went and got a haircut. I kind of needed one, but it was mainly cause i wanted it to be shorter. Anyway, i tried a new outfit out today as well after i got my haircut. Here's the thing, most of you know that i don't see myself the same way other see me. I honestly don't find myself to be attractive or cute or anything like that. But today i looked in the mirror, and damn; I looked fucking good. It was weird. Like everything just flowed and it all pieced together. So overall, it was a good day. I've figured out that if you look good, you'll feel good. And if you feel good, you'll make sure you have a good day and nothing brings you down. That's exactly what i did. Hopefully i have more of these "awesome cute/good looking days" in the near future. I could use them! Song of the day: Happiness by The Fray