2012

Happy New Year! I really wanted to post this before midnight came along so it would be on the first and not the second. Any who, a quick update on what's been going on i guess.

I've been keeping myself busy for the most part lately. Hanging out with some people here and there, and a lot of going out with my parents. They wanted to buy all new couches for the living room and the basement. So we've been going around looking at different stores to see if they find anything that they like. Well, we finally found some from Ashley Furniture (about damn time) for both areas. Honestly didn't think my parents were going to spend as much money as they did on furniture. But they look legit!

New years eve was AMAZING! That was probably the best one yet. I got to bring it in with some amazing people that i call my family. Needless to say, we did it right. We had so much fun, and even more that we can't remember. I got my midnight kiss from an unexpected girl, but it's okay because it was totally awesome. And now i have one week before i get to go back!

So now for this week, i have to figure out what all i'm taking down to the house and go buy some stuff as well. And on top of that, try to make some room and see some people that i haven't seen yet over break. I think i'm going to make a trip up to the high school at one point this week. We shall see. I most likely will. I'm so excited to leave. About. Damn. Time.

I have a lot of high hopes for this new year. 2011 was okay and all, not the best, but not the worst. I really really really think 2012 is going to be a year to remember. And it's going to be the year that i truly find out what i'm made of and for my dreams to come true. Plus, there may or may not be a certain lady i'm becoming interested in, and starting out the year with a lady friend wouldn't be half bad! I'm going to do a lot and accomplish a lot in this year. Just you wait and see!

Song of the day:

Man in the Hat by Mac Miller

Made IT.

Alright, let me start out by saying i know i broke my promise. To be honest, there just hasn't been much going on lately to write about. Being home is just, boring. I don't know how some of these people do it. I don't know how they stay here for college. I don't know how they come home as much as they do. I just don't get it. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm pretty sure i would end up killing myself if i had to stay here for college or go even close to here. There's just NOTHING here at home. Absolutely nothing.

That's one of the biggest things i've come to realize this break. I have nothing here for me anymore. I honestly don't know why i come home other than to see my parents and just be in this house. And to be completely honest, i only need a day or two for that. There's nothing here for me. Never will be. There's no one left here for me either. I just don't belong here.

I guess i always kind of knew that. I just didn't want to admit it. But with everything that has been happening in my life lately, i just grew up. I grew up a lot. And with growing up, i let go. I let go of so much this semester. It's been an ongoing thing, but i think this semester i finally actually let go. I let go of my "hometown", of my high school, of my high school friends, of everything i was back then.

I'm no where near the person i was back then. I find myself seeing people from high school or talking to them via text/phone call, and i have nothing to say to them. My life is just so different and the person i am now is different. No one that knew me then really knows me now.

In a way, i really like that. I found myself. I found my purpose, and my passion. I found the person i was meant to be. I found what i am capable of, and what i'm not. In its simplest form, I GREW UP. It's scary. It really is. But i kind of really like that too.

 I guess what i'm trying to say is, my goal for college is actually coming together a lot sooner than i thought. I can look into the mirror and be proud of the person i am. To sum it all up, I made something of myself. A person that people want to be, and a person that's known. A person that i'm so incredibly proud to be.

Song of the day:

Fear by OneRepublic

Well Damn

I'm sitting here in the library. I have been for about two hours now. And the only thing i've accomplished is finding two sources for my ten page paper due in less than a week. And on top of that, i have a geology test that i have in less than a week as well. Actually, the test and paper are due on the same day. I hate everything. And the thing is, youtube distracts the HELL out of me. I watch one video, which just makes me want to watch another one, and so on and so forth. It kind of sucks. A lot. So i guess i was officially dating a girl. For a week and a half. It obviously ended. She was crazy. But not THAT crazy. Any who, it was a nice change of pace from the usual. I am officially the recruitment chair for pi kapp. Which is pretty neat. I will be quitting my job as an RA to pursue recruitment. One door closes, another opens. Go me. I will also be CONSIDERING to go out and represent Pi Kapp for Greek God during Greek Week this upcoming semester. We shall see how my mind sets on that one. Any who, other than that everythings been hell. It is definitely a week from hell and i'm just taking it a minute at a time. GAH. Song of the day: If I Ain't Got You by Jay Sean

Looks

So today i went and got a haircut. I kind of needed one, but it was mainly cause i wanted it to be shorter. Anyway, i tried a new outfit out today as well after i got my haircut. Here's the thing, most of you know that i don't see myself the same way other see me. I honestly don't find myself to be attractive or cute or anything like that. But today i looked in the mirror, and damn; I looked fucking good. It was weird. Like everything just flowed and it all pieced together. So overall, it was a good day. I've figured out that if you look good, you'll feel good. And if you feel good, you'll make sure you have a good day and nothing brings you down. That's exactly what i did. Hopefully i have more of these "awesome cute/good looking days" in the near future. I could use them! Song of the day: Happiness by The Fray

Here We Go

I need to start writing again. It's just so hard to do it when i have so much other crap going on in my life. But i guess i need to make time for it. Writing was something that kept me sane. It was something that kept me going, and for the most part, made me look at the brighter side of things. It brought out the inner emotions, and lets face it, it's what made me me. Some days i wonder where it all went, why i just stopped all of a sudden. I think it had to do with the fact that deep down inside, i knew i wasn't good. I also knew that it was going to get me nowhere. But recently i've realized that maybe it has nothing to do with the fact that i'm bad, or that it's going to get me nowhere. Because i always wrote for me. I never wrote for the sake of one day getting published or so that people would tell me how good i was. It was all because i needed to get some emotions out. So that is what sparked this whole revamping of my writing.

Something else the world should probably know. This new girl has got me wrapped around her finger. And i'm cool with that. Kind of. I guess we're kind of dating now. Maybe. I'm not exactly sure. It's complicated.

Song of the day:

Are We All Forgotten by Paper Route

Listen Up Missy

This post is just for you missy. And you know exactly who you are. (i feel like we're little kids bickering at each other every time we do this through posts haha)

Any who, just so you know, i don't sleep around. I promise. I haven't been with anyone in a long time. If you're hearing stories than they're stories. Do i hook up with them? Yeah, probably. But not sex. And yes i do remember their names, ya butt.

ANNNNNNNNND. I actually don't drink that much anymore! I know, shocker. Mainly because since i'm an RA now i have to be mister responsible for my building. And on top of that i want to be president of my fraternity next week which would mean absolutely no drinking. Sad day. But i miss you. A lot. It sucks that we don't/can't talk anymore. But i love the random texts you'll send me on holidays haha. And i am still the new/old me. If anything, i'm a better version of that since i don't drink as much and all that jazz. A lot has actually happened this semester that i have to tell you about, but it's not the easiest thing to do since our communication is really spotty. But i'm sure at one point or another we can talk about all of it.

I miss you a shit ton!

Song of the day:

Young, Wild, and Free by Snoop Dogg ft. Wiz Khalifa and Bruno Mars

Holy Shit

So here's the thing. I didn't know running for president was going to be this stressful. Everyday, from the moment i wake up from the moment i go to sleep, that's all i can think about. Every conversation i have with anyone leads to my running for president cause they either want to know how it's going or what my plans are. But the hardest part is hearing about the other candidate campaigning like a mother fucker. Which scares the hell out of me. But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that i still have to do my everyday stuff. Like i still have to do all of my RA business, every single day, I still have to go to Distinction in Public Affairs tomorrow for two hours, and to top it all off, i made it to the second round for becoming a SOAR leader this summer and my interview is on tuesday. Like running for president isn't enough pressure, i have all of this other added pressure and then people getting on to me about stepping up my game for campaigning and then semi-formal season is here and i got asked to two sorority semi-formals but i can't go to either of them cause i have other stuff going on that same night. AND my semi formal is in 3 weeks. Guess who doesn't have a date? THIS GUY. FML.

Song of the day:

Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra